George Bush meets with the Queen of England.

He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an
efficient government? Are there any tips you can give
to me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is
to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me
are really intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You
just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The
Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send
Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, my Queen?"
The Queen smiles "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your
mother and father have a child. It is not your brother
and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers,
"Well, your Majesty, that would be me."
"Yes, Very good," says the Queen.

Bush goes back home to ask Dick Cheney, his Vice
President, the same question. "Dick, answer this for
me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not
your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says Cheney, "let me get back to you
on that one."
Cheney goes to his Advisors and asks every one, but
none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in
the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in
the next stall. Cheney shouts, "Colin! Can you answer
this for me?
Your mother and father have a child and it's not your
brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Cheney smiles, and says, "Thanks!"
Then, Cheney goes back to speak with Bush. "Say, I
did some research and I have the answer to that riddle.
It's Colin Powell."

Bush gets up, stomps over to Cheney and angrily yells
into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

A broke blonde decides to ask God for help. "Dear Lord," she prays, "if I don't get some cash, I'm gonna lose everything. Please let me win the lottery."

Lottery night comes, but the blonde doesn't win. She prays even harder, saying, "God, why have you forsaken me? My children are starving. Please just let me win this once."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, and the blonde hears God speak.

"Sweetheart, work with me on this," he says. "Buy a ticket."

EVERYTHING HAS A GENDER

You may not know this but many nonliving things have a gender.

Ziploc= Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

Copiers= are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, But can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

A Tire= is Male, because it goes bald and it's often Over-inflated.

A Hot Air Balloon= is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

Sponges= are Female, because they're soft, Squeezable and retain water.

A Web Page= is Female, because it's always getting hit on.

A Subway= is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

An Hourglass= is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

A Hammer= is Male , because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have Around.

A Remote Control= is Female.

Ha! You thought it'd be male , didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!

Discipline Despite Calif. Bus Rescue

(AP) A 15-year-old girl who stopped an out-of-control school bus she was riding on was handed a Saturday detention instead because she was skipping school.

Marina High School student Amanda Rouse was on a bus with 40 elementary school students Wednesday morning when the driver fell out of her seat after a turn and hit her head.

Rouse jumped up and applied the brakes, bringing the bus to a halt after striking two parked cars. No one was injured.

She said had asked the bus driver for a ride because she felt sick at school.

"She is in trouble with school because she made the wrong decision," said Rouse's grandmother, Sally Correll. "But I can't help but believe that she was where God wanted her to be."

A spokesperson for the Monterey Peninsula Unified School District could not immediately be reached Saturday.

Now just what in the heck are we teaching our kids now

Cops: Teen Tried To Steal Cruiser's Gas

(AP) A Monroe County sheriff's detective on a stakeout to catch an arsonist arrested the suspect as he tried to steal gas from the officer's cruiser. Officers were placed around homes currently under construction after police had gotten two arson complaints within the past week.

Several officers, including Detective Thomas Redmond, watched the 17-year-old walk away from his Lambertville home early Sunday carrying a bucket before he approached Redmond's unmarked vehicle.

Police say the teen unscrewed the gas cap and started siphoning the fuel before Redmond got out of the car and chased him.

Authorities say the teen later admitted to the two arsons as well as three other arsons in 2006.