After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, he eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could expect from jump school.

"Well," he said, "its three weeks long."

"What else," I asked.

"The first week they separate the men from the boys," he said. "The second week, they separate the men from the fools."

"And the third week?" I asked.

"The third week, the fools jump."

BRISBANE, Australia, Jan. 30, 200(AP)

A golf course in tropical Australia has a new water hazard: a crocodile that took up residence in a lake at the 14th hole.
Club owner Don Matheson in the Queensland state city of Townsville said the small, freshwater crocodile posed no "significant threat" to people, but that the club doesn't allow them on the course.
"It's quite novel that we have got a croc who has made his home here. If we allowed it, he would stay here," Matheson added.
The 3-foot, 4-inch crocodile moved into the lake at the Willows Golf Club during flooding that followed heavy rains in recent weeks, Matheson said, adding that he'll ask wildlife authorities to place the animal back in the wild.
Wildlife authorities last week warned residents in the Queensland tropics to be alert for crocodiles and snakes carried onto properties by floodwater.

SYDNEY, Australia, Jan. 30, 2008(AP)

An Australian retiree won a $1.8 million lottery prize, then lost it, and then won it again Wednesday through a court ruling.
Werner Reinhold bought the lottery ticket at a newsstand in Australia's largest city of Sydney on Sept. 19, 1995. His original ticket did not print correctly, so he asked for a new one, which turned out to be the winner.
But when Reinhold, now 73, went back to claim the $1.8 million jackpot, he discovered that the replacement ticket had been canceled, not the misprinted original, and was unable to claim the prize.
He sued NSW Lotteries, which oversees lottery tickets in New South Wales state, and the newsstand which sold him the ticket.
Supreme Court Judge Reginald Barrett awarded Reinhold $1.8 million in damages, citing negligence and breach of contract by the newsstand and the state lottery company. Barrett had not yet ruled on what portion of the award each party should pay

                Well I don’t have much to post this am I was up later than usual helping a friend and it reminded of some stuff. I have been here on the net for a day or too. You see when I first got on here chat rooms were all the rage. Honestly they were a lot of fun back then you did not have anything like smiley faces or voice or any thing like that. You had to make it up as you went. Now I wish I would have saved some of the stuff people did . I mean the drawings and pics just using the keys and such . Some of the pics were very elaborate and took hours to do There were funny rules of a kind, like caps meant you were yelling and you did not ever just crash into a room and start yelling at people, And a lot of others. Well the one thing I learned back then and is true now without a dout is that if someone is bugging you there is only one way to get them to stop. It is to just ignore them. It is the same as if you get into an argument in the street you have 3 choices 1 walk away 2 ignore them or 3 throw down on them ,now on here 3 isn’t generally an option so you have 2 choices and the best is just ignore them if you feed the flames in anyway your losing the war. It seems some people just like to see if they can get under peoples skin and seem to do that a lot. So they start up to make someone else miserable on here and the weird thing is how much it works. How one person can get into and actually upset some one else with just a few key strokes. Now if you really step back and think of this someone half a content away has the power to ruin your day with just a few well placed key strokes. Now just how silly is that relay. I know there are legniment concerns and yes I have been hacked probably more than most, but I just keep going on. I have never been hurt by this. I have never had the computer reach out and twist my arm. Bite my heels or anything else. I guess the thing I’m trying to say is the only way to win any argument on here is not to get into one. Or if one comes looking for you ( and they do trust me ) is to just ignore it. If you don’t put fuel on the fire it will quickly go out

Well I have rambled enough on here I hope I made a little sense and here is the best I can find for humor today k

CHARLESTON, W.Va., Jan. 29, 2008(AP)

A suspected thief learned a valuable lesson last month after he blew a fuse while using a power drill to break into parking meters. Police said that the next time, he used a cordless drill.
Police said William David Salisbury, 44, was so brazen that he plugged an extension cord for his drill outside the guardhouse on Dec. 22, blowing a circuit breaker.
On Monday, Charleston police arrested Salisbury for the fourth time in five weeks and charged him with stealing from parking meters. Police believe he began to use an 18-volt cordless drill.
In all, police said the suspect stole hundreds of dollars from at least 24 meters near the state Capitol over five weeks.
Salisbury was being held Tuesday at the South Central Regional Jail on three counts of destruction of property and two of petit larceny, all misdemeanors.
A Kanawha County Magistrate Court clerk said Salisbury doesn't have an attorney.

Don't you hate it when your batters die and just where is that damn engizer bunny when you need him.

HAMILTON CITY, Calif., Jan. 29, 2008(AP)

A Glenn County sheriff's deputy shot a man with a Taser gun for allegedly riding his bike at night without proper lighting.
According to a sheriff's spokesman, the bicyclist ignored warnings from the deputy he would use the stun gun, then fled on foot.
One probe struck the bicyclist, Omar Herrada Rivera, 39, but he did not receive a shock.
After being checked out at a hospital, Rivera was held in the county jail on suspicion of resisting arrest, riding a bicycle without proper lighting, riding under the influence of alcohol and using false citizenship government documents.
The sheriff's spokesman said the deputy's decision to use the Taser was proper??

Just who the HELL decided to give Barny a charged taser.! One gun one bullet one taser one battery.But a least he missed him must have been Barny.

The thing is in this town they don't issue trafic tickets they just shoot you

ST. CLOUD, Minn., Jan. 29, 2008(AP)

Instead of finding homes for abandoned dogs or cats, one animal rescue group is asking Minnesotans to adopt donkeys. Peaceful Valley Donkey Rescue has more than 1,000 donkeys, including abused and neglected domestic donkeys and wild burros.
Most of the organization's adopted donkeys are kept at sanctuaries in western states such as California. But Peaceful Valley would like to find Midwest landowners willing to serve as satellite adoption centers, meaning they would agree to foster six donkeys at a time and find adoptive homes for them, said Vice President Rachael Komulainen, a Bemidji native.
Peaceful Valley also hopes to eventually get landowners to donate land for a Midwest sanctuary, Komulainen said.
The landowners provide fencing, shelter and care for the animals and are reimbursed for hay, vaccinations and other costs.
Komulainen said some people question whether donkeys really need to be rescued.
"Our society _ we have really looked down upon the donkey, and it's really a shame," Komulainen said, adding that donkeys have little monetary value and are often neglected.
Donkeys are gentle, intelligent, social animals and don't deserve their reputation for stubbornness, she said.

Now this is easy give the Donkeys to the town drunks than when they get busted for riding drunk the cop's can confacated them

SWEETWATER, Tenn., Jan. 29, 2008(AP)

A woman has been charged with possession of burglary tools after police said a crowbar slipped out of her pants as she was lurking around a church.
McMinn County Sheriff's Deputy Rick Shadrick pulled into the church parking lot early Saturday morning after he spotted a car parked near the building.
He found Jennifer Hunt, 35, walking from behind the building, where she said she was going to bathroom. When she was walking to her car to get her ID, a crowbar dropped from her pants
The officer also found Hunt had a screwdriver and observed pry marks on church doors. Hunt was being held on $2,000 bond pending a Tuesday arraignment

Now it true you never know what a women has in her pants

GRAND JUNCTION, Colo., Jan. 29, 2008(AP)

Authorities say a car crashed through a fence at Grand Junction Regional Airport and drove onto a runway before it got stuck atop electrical equipment.
No planes were taking off or landing when the incident occurred at about 3 a.m. Monday, the Transportation Security Administration said.
Jamie L. Bowden was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence and other counts, police said. No phone number could be found for Bowden, and it wasn't known whether she had an attorney.
Airport manager Rex Tippett said Bowden's car went off a road and came "barreling through the fence and just kept on going."
TSA spokesman Sterling Payne called the incident "isolated" and said Grand Junction authorities are in charge of the investigation.
A Federal Aviation Administration official says the agency wasn't aware of the incident.

Mabe she was looking for the flight to FRANKFURT

Fly naked on nudist holiday flight

FRANKFURT (Reuters) -

German nudists will be able to start their holidays early by stripping off on the plane if they take up a new offer from an eastern German travel firm.Travel agency OssiUrlaub.de said it would start taking bookings from Friday for a trial nudist day trip from the eastern German town of Erfurt to the popular Baltic Sea resort of Usedom, planned for July 5 and costing 499 euros ($735)."It's expensive, I know," managing director Enrico Hess told Reuters by phone. "It's because the plane's very small. There's no real reason why a flight in which one flies naked should be more expensive than any other."The 55 passengers will have to remain clothed until they board, and dress before disembarking, said Hess. The crew will remain clothed throughout the flight for safety reasons."I wish I could say we thought of it ourselves but the idea came from a customer," Hess told Reuters by phone. "It's an unusual gap in the market."Naturism, or "free body culture" (FKK) as it is known in Germany, was banned by the Nazis but blossomed again after the Second World War, particularly in eastern Germany."There are FKK hotels where you can go into the restaurants and shops naked, for example," Hess said. "For FKK fans -- not that I'm one of them -- it's nothing unusual.""I don't want people to get the wrong idea. It's not that we're starting a swinger club in mid-air or something like that," he added. "We're a perfectly normal holiday company."

If this chatches on it will kill the airport screaning jobs. Maybe a good idea for the fight on terrisiom. I could go on and on and on !!!LOL

I wasn't going to post the hole thing but there is just to much good stuff in there

Brazil carnival star eyes surgery record

Associated Press Writer Sun Jan 27, 2:18 PM ET

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - Brazilian model Angela Bismarchi will dance nearly nude ahead of a 300-person drum corps in next month's Carnival parade, hoping her sculpted beauty as a "percussion queen" will lead her samba group to the championship.

But she has another goal in mind as well.

In preparation for Rio's five-day Carnival blowout in February, she's having her 42nd plastic surgery — closing in on the Guinness World Record of 47 surgical procedures held by 52-year-old American Cindy Jackson, who calls herself a "Living Doll" and now promotes her own skincare line."I always was vain," Bismarchi, 36, acknowledges at the medical clinic near Rio where her plastic surgeon husband has operated on her 10 times. "And for carnival, you have to feel especially pretty."Just days before Brazil's Feb. 2-6 carnival begins, Bismarchi will have nylon wires implanted in her eyes to give them an Asian slant, in line with this year's theme of her samba group, Porto da Pedra: the centennial of Japanese immigration to Brazil.Bismarchi's unabashed passion for plastic surgery has made her a celebrity in this image-mad country, where even the poor get surgical enhancements on the installment plan. Brazilians see no shame in touching up their bodies, which are routinely exposed at carnival and flaunted on the beach in thong bikinis so tiny they're called "dental floss."Born poor in Rio, Bismarchi had her first cosmetic surgery in 1992 after her daughter was born. She was just 21, but said she was depressed after nursing caused her breasts to sag. So she had them lifted, adored the results, and became so fascinated with cosmetic surgery that her next two husbands were plastic surgeons."I put in a prosthesis and loved it. I was beautiful and sensual again," Bismarchi said, a striking figure at 6 feet — taller in white high heels — with long blond hair flowing over her white minidress.Carnival has a special place in Bismarchi's career.She first made headlines in 2000, when police tried to arrest her after she paraded partly nude with the Brazilian flag painted on her body."I became famous all over," she said. "The power of carnival is amazing."Two years later, she paraded with the face of President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva painted across her exposed body. Police released her after she explained it was a gesture to Silva's anti-hunger program.A wardrobe malfunction at last year's carnival put Bismarchi back in the news — when her G-string broke and dangled from her waist, Porto da Pedra was threatened with a penalty for total nudity, forbidden under parade rules. But the resourceful Bismarchi hid from the judges behind the drum section, changed her tiny "sex cover" and finished the parade.Today, Bismarchi promotes an exclusive line of sexy lingerie, "gives beauty tips (???)"and responds to the 500 to 700 letters and e-mails she receives each day. To care for her famous figure, she does two and a half hours of exercise daily, takes dance lessons and spends hours tanning on the beach.

"I consider myself quite timid. I'm just a little girl grown big," she said. "I never imagined I would be famous. Things just happened."