Outhouse stories

There was once a country boy who hated using the outhouse because it was hot in the summer and freezing in the winter...plus it stank all the time. The outhouse was situated on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek.
So one day after a spring rain the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. He got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing this meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?" The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."

The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree."

A woman living in a rural area wanted to have an outhouse that wouldn't stink. She advertised it in the local papers for a contractor that could build such a structure. After some time, a contractor applied for the job and guaranteed that the outhouse would not have any odor. He got the job. Sometime after completing the construction, the man got a frantic call from the woman, "You'd better get here fast! That outhouse has a terrible smell!" He rushed over, went to the outhouse, poked his head through the door and exclaimed,

One of my bygone recollections, as I recall the days of yore is the little house, behind the house, with the crescent o'er the door.

'Twas a place to sit and ponder with your head bowed down so low, knowing that you wouldn't be there, if you didn't have to go.
Ours was a three-holer, with a size for every one. You left there feeling better after the job was done. You had to make these frequent trips, whether snow, rain, sleet, or fog, to the little house where you sat and read the Sears Roebuck catalog.
Oft times in dead of winter the seat was covered with snow. 'Twas then with much reluctance to the little house you'd go.
With a swish you'd clear the seat, bend low and, with shivers in mind, you'd blink your eyes and grit your teeth as you sat on your behind.
I recall the day that Granddad, who stayed with us one summer, made a trip to the shanty which proved to be a hummer.
'Twas the same day my Dad finished painting the kitchen green. He'd just cleaned up the mess he'd made with rags and gasoline.
He tossed the rags in the shanty hole and went on his usual way, not knowing that by doing so he would eventually rue the day.
Now Granddad had an urgent call; I never will forget! This trip he made to the little house lingers in my memory yet.
He sat down on the shanty seat, with both feet on the floor, then filled his pipe with tobacco and struck a match on the outhouse door.
As he took a long puff on his pipe, he slowly raised his behind, tossed the flaming match in the open hole, with not a worry on his mind.
The blast that followed, I am sure was heard for miles around; and there was poor ol' Granddad just sitting on the ground.
The smoldering pipe was still in his mouth, his suspenders he held tight; the celebrated three-holer was blown clear out of sight.
When we asked him what had happened, his answer I'll never forget. He thought it must of been something he had et!
Next day we had a new one which my Dad built with ease. With a sign on the entrance door which read: No Smoking, Please!
Now that's the end of the story, with memories of long ago, of the little house, behind the house where we wencause we had to go.
~ Author Unknown

The deepest river gorge in the North American Continent is Idaho's Hells Canyon - 7,900 feet deep. Yes, it's deeper than the Grand Canyon.

 Shoshone Falls (212 feet), near Twin Falls, Idaho, drops 52 feet further than Niagara Falls.

 The Frank Church River of No Return Wilderness is the largest wilderness area in the 48 contiguous states - 2.3 million acres of rugged, unspoiled back country.

Salmon River, known as the "River of No Return" because of its difficult passage, is the nation's longest free-flowing river that heads and flows within a single state.

63% of Idaho is public land managed by the federal government.

Nearly 85 percent of all the commercial trout sold in the United States is produced in the Hagerman Valley near Twin Falls.

 Idaho grows about 27 billion potatoes annually. .

   The world's first nuclear power plant is located at the Idaho National Environmental and Engineering Laboratory (INEEL), near Arco, Idaho.

The Atomic Energy Commission offered the town of Arco electricity generated by atomic energy in 1953.

In 1953, the engineering prototype of the first nuclear submarine, the Nautilus, was built and tested in the Idaho desert on the Snake River Plain near Arco

 Did you know that Idaho has a seaport? The Port of Lewiston allows the exportation of millions of bushels of grain down the Snake and Columbia Rivers for overseas shipment.

Rigby is known as the birthplace of television since it is Philo T. Farnsworth's hometown. Farnsworth pioneered television technology .

The world's first alpine skiing chairlift was (and still is) located in Sun Valley. Built by Union Pacific Railroad engineers, it was designed after a banana-boat loading device. The 1936 fee: 25 cents per ride.  

 In Idaho, its against the law for anyone over the age of 88 to ride a motorcycle.

A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face in Pocatello,

 Idaho In Boise, Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back.

You may not fish on a camel's back in Idaho.

In Idaho, riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.

Anti-delinquency statutes in Idaho prohibit juveniles from deliberately stepping on ants

In Idaho law forbids a citizen to give another citizen a box of candy that weighs more than 50 pounds.

In Pocatello, a law passed in 1912 provided that "The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless some are exhibited to public view.

 It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait proximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate  

Wilson Butte Cave, near Twin Falls, was excavated in 1959 and found to contain bones of bison and antelope, as well as some arrowheads and other artifacts that were carbon-dated to be 14,500 years old. This makes them "among the oldest definitely dated artifacts in the New World."  

 Julia Jean Mildred Frances Turner was burn in Wallace, Idaho and changed her name to Lana Turner, becoming a famous movie star!

 Ernest Hemingway arrived in Sun Valley in 1939 to work on his novel, For Whom the Bell Tolls. Idaho offered wide open spaces for Hemingway to indulge in his passions for hunting, skiing, fishing, and other outdoor activities. Hemingway is buried in Ketchum, Idaho where he died on July 2, 1961.

Sacajawea, a Lemhi Shoshoni from an area now on the Montana/Idaho border, escorted Meriwether Lewis and William Clark through northern Idaho to the mouth of the Columbia River drainage.Today, Highway 12 follows the old Lewis and Clark Trail along the Lochsa (pronounced lock-saw) and Clearwater Rivers until they merge with the Snake and continue their journey to the Pacific Ocean.

 Between 1863 (when Abraham Lincoln signed the bill making Idaho a Territory) and statehood (27 years later), the Idaho Territory had 16 governors, four who never set foot in Idaho.

   Appropriately named the "Gem State," Idaho produces 72 types of precious and semi-precious stones, some of which can be found nowhere else in the world. The Silver Valley in northern Idaho has produced more than $4 billion in precious metals since 1884, making the area one of the top 10 mining districts in the world.

One of the largest diamonds ever found in the United States, nearly 20 carats, was discovered near McCall, Idaho.  

There are some more I will list latter.

 Idaho had the distinction of the first and only fatalities in a Nuclear accident when a containment vessel at INEL was being maintained in the 50s and the top blew off killing 3 or 4 engineers I think

Boyd Codditing (car builder fame)  was born in or around Burly Idaho

Hagerman has a fossilized horse the stands only 4ft tall and was on display at the Smithsonian for years and other stupid stuff from here

Wed Mar 5, 3:58 PM ET

BORDEAUX, France (Reuters) - The mayor of a village in southwest France has threatened residents with severe punishment if they die, because there is no room left in the overcrowded cemetery to bury them. In an ordinance posted in the council offices, Mayor Gerard Lalanne told the 260 residents of the village of Sarpourenx that "all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish."It added: "Offenders will be severely punished."The mayor said he was forced to take drastic action after an administrative court in the nearby town of Pau ruled in January that the acquisition of adjoining private land to extend the cemetery would not be justified.Lalanne, who celebrated his 70th birthday on Wednesday and is standing for election to a seventh term in this month's local elections, said he was sorry that there had not been a positive outcome to the dilemma.

"It may be a laughing matter for some, but not for me," he said.

ROSEBURG, Ore. - When two guys in cowboy garb offered the sheriff's deputies doughnuts, and then the deputies investigated a burglary involving doughnuts and the prints of cowboy boots, it didn't take Sherlock Holmes to crack the case."The officers kind of put two and two together," Deputy District Attorney Dave Hopkins said Tuesday at the sentencing of Adam Hancock, 21, of Baker City on theft and burglary charges.Sheriff's deputies reported they found Hancock and his cousin, Vincent Whitely, 19, in Roseburg on Jan. 11, and the pair offered the officers doughnuts, which they declined.Shortly afterward, the officers investigated a burglary at a store from which cigarettes, candy, chewing gum and the telltale doughnuts were missing. And there were boot prints.His attorney said Hancock had mental disabilities and was "easily led." Hancock told the judge he'd been drinking whiskey before the burglary and vowed to make restitution of $895. He got two 10-day jail terms with credit for time served.

WIFE FROM HELL

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The
officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour,
sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise
control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs
calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now
don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't
have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver
looks at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep
your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles dem urely and says "You should be
thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the 2nd ticket for the
illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his
wife and says through clenched teeth, "Damn it,
woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that
you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an
automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had
it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so
that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now dear, you know very well that
you didn't ha ve your seat belt on. You never wear
your seat belt while you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the 3rd
ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY
DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP???"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does
your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"