WASHINGTON (AP)—

The percentage of vacant homes for sale in the U.S. set a new record high in the first quarter of this year, the government said Monday. more stories like thisThe Census Bureau report shows that 2.9 percent of U.S. homes -- excluding rental properties -- were vacant and up for sale, compared with 2.8 percent in the fourth quarter of 2007. It was the highest quarterly number in records going back to 1956. That works out to 2.28 million properties, up from 2.18 million in the same quarter last year, according to the report. The West had the biggest gain in vacancy rates among homeowners, rising to 3.2 percent in the January-March period from 2.6 percent in the same quarter a year earlier. Vacancy rates inched up in the Northeast and remained steady in the Midwest and South. The national vacancy rate, including new and existing homes, has been steadily rising since mid-2005. Global Insight economist Patrick Newport called the report "worrisome." "The inventory problem has not gotten any better," Newport said. Although glut-fighting home builders have reined in construction, "they still will have to cut back more." The Census Bureau's report also said that the U.S. homeownership rate remained at 67.8 percent in the first quarter, down from a peak of 69.2 percent at the end of 2004. The housing market's five-year boom is quickly becoming a faint memory, as sales and home prices have fallen dramatically over the past two years in once hot areas such as California and Nevada. Last week, a Commerce Department report said sales of new homes plunged in March to the slowest pace in 16 1/2 years. Centex Corp., Pulte Homes Inc., Hovnanian Enterprises Inc. and other builders have been caught with unsold properties over the past year as mortgages became harder to get, sales slowed and the economy soured. Builders have slashed prices, but the discounts have done little to lure buyers who are holding out, uncertain about when the price-drop will stop. The National Association of Realtors reported last week that sales of existing homes also fell in March, dropping by 2 percent, with prices declining on a year-over-year basis by 7.7 percent

Summer Classes for Men at
 THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, August   17th 2008    
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.  

Thats why us men invented auto ice machines

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.  

Why there is a news paper in the john drrrrr

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.  

Then why are there doors on the shower??

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.  

So we don't play for the NBA

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM  

Why did God make paper plates then ???

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM  

Now this is just mean and cotroling

can be crule and unusial punishment

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.  

How else will things know we are looking for them and still be able to hide

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.  

Flowers = A weed women make us pay money for

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined  

Cave men had no stinking directions and they worked out just fine thank you

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.  

Yes but there is only so much time left for planet Earth.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined  

Companion class diffrence between Surgar daddy and Husband

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.  

Same as # 10 above

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.  

Now why waist valuable time that could be used at the race track ??

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.  

Why is ther a bell on the Microwave then??
 Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Decide whether following things are younger than McCain.

1) The state of Alaska

2) The jet engine

3) The contact lens

4) Daffy Duck

5) The tape recorder

6) Polystyrene

7) Thailand

8) The vacuum cleaner

9) The bikini

10) Mickey Mouse

No wonder we can't keep secerets from China