* Free to good home.
* Excellent guard dog.
* Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more thieves, murderers or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.
* Most of them knew him as 'Holy Shit.'

PASCO, Wash., Feb. 29, 2008(AP) What happened to faking a cough? Sheriff's detectives in Franklin County said a man had his friend shoot him in the shoulder so he wouldn't have to go to work.
When he first spoke with deputies, Daniel Kuch, of Pasco, told them he'd been the victim of a drive-by shooting while he was out jogging Thursday. But detectives told KONA radio that Kuch later acknowledged that he asked his friend to shoot him so he could get some time off work and avoid an upcoming drug test.
The friend, Kurtis Johnson, of Burbank, has been arrested for investigation of reckless endangerment. Kuch was booked into the county jail and is expected to be charged with false reporting.
Detectives declined to say where Kuch works, or whether he still has a job. It wasn't known if he had obtained a lawyer.

This guy needs more than a lawyer???

ST. PAUL, Feb. 29, 2008(AP) A man on his way to anger management class became angry and struck a woman, authorities said.
Justin John Boudin, 27, pleaded guilty Friday to fifth-degree assault in Ramsey County District Court and can expect to face a sentence for time served in jail, at least 120 days, and probation when he is sentenced May 5, the county attorney's office said.
According to a criminal complaint, Boudin was waiting at a bus stop on Aug. 29 when he accosted a 59-year-old woman and others.
"Why don't you show me some respect?" he allegedly yelled at the woman.
When she took out a cell phone to call police, he hit her in the face, according to the complaint. When a 63-year-old man tried to stop Boudin, Boudin hit him with a blue folder _ which fell on the ground _ and fled.
Police tracked him down through the folder, which included Boudin's anger management homework and his name, the complaint said.

Don't even have words for this dufes!!!!